FML Friday

For your Friday, end of the week, thank god for the weekend laughing pleasure I give you this weeks finds from the awesome website FML: Your everyday life stories ....


Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone 'mummy works as a drug dealer.' I'm a pharmacist. FML


Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML


Today, my older brother and I were teasing our mom about her age. When we jokingly told her it was hard for us to watch our parents get old, she responded by saying "yeah, well, it's hard for me to watch my kids grow up and not have anyone who wants to marry them". FML

Today I bought a fake "wedding ring" at Target to play a prank on my parents. They kicked me out, saying my "fiancé" can take care of me now. There is no fiancé, and I just lost my job. FML


Today, I woke up with a pillow under my t-shirt. Turns out my boyfriend wanted to 'see if I would look hot even when pregnant'. We've been dating for three weeks now. FML


Today, I got a text from my crush. In my clumsy attempt to quickly grab the phone, I knocked it off the kitchen counter and cracked the screen. After driving to my friends house so I could put my sim card in her phone, I saw that the text said "who's this? stop texting me." FML

FML Friday

It's that time again, the time to get a good chuckle and maybe make you feel just a little better about our own lives. Copied from one of my fav sites FML: Your everyday life stories, here ya go....


Today, I went for a ride with my son. I noticed he didn't have his seat belt on. To teach him a lesson, I drove very slowly and hit the brakes really hard. The impact was greater than I thought, so my son hit his head against the window and left a huge crack. He just laughed. FML


Today, I was working with the kid I babysit for. We were out and he complained that he was hungry. I spent my very last $2 on chicken nuggets for him and a coffee for myself. Just as I sat down, he knocked over my coffee, spilling it into his chicken nuggets. Then he cried for over an hour. FML


Today, I checked my Facebook notifications to see that someone likes my new single status. My ex. FML


Today, I went to my doctor to get my x-ray results. Turns out, I have a fractured spine and a chip of my spine has moved. Now I'm in a neck brace because my dad didn't think it was serious, and told me to "suck it up princess." FML

Today, my teacher compared the female reproductive system to Shrek's head. Never again will I be able to watch the movies. FML


Today, I was dissecting a pig for my anatomy class. The smell of four day-old dead pig caused me to faint. My mom drove me home and warmed me up some left overs for lunch. It was pork chops. FML


Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML


Today, my four-year-old daughter thought it'd be funny to cut my hair while I was sleeping. FML


Today, my daughter learned that if she rips a toy out of its package in front of a store employee, mommy will be forced to buy it. She now has two new toys today. FML


Today, I realized why my bathroom has been smelling so bad. My 10 year old son has been peeing on the radiator thinking it was fun to watch it steam and sizzle. FML